Decade

To the decade that broke me, and built me back to life:

At the start of you I was so scared. Thirteen. Not a clue how to be or like myself. Control manifested itself in aspects of my life that required surrender at such a tender age. A teenager that was anything but spontaneous. Precocious and clueless in equal measure.

Seventeen. Things had to get worse before they got better. Raped. To not give in to the temptation of self destruction.

Twenty-three. Ovarian cyst. Braved through the pain.

Trust. Why is it the hardest to do? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Thanks to hardships and forced growth; I see myself differently. I understood shadow sides of myself better and let go of trying to erase or eradicate them. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When we’re able to accept our totality; light and dark, joyous and sullen, inspired and depleted - we make way for total transformation. This last year stretched me beyond what I thought was possible, but I have never felt as much love as I do today and for that I am grateful and, quietly - proud. Because at last, parts of me on good days and in large, believe that I am worthy.

Today as a concept and reminder to be present. Practice gratitude more often.

Here’s to another day, another year, another decade.

Here’s to all of You.

x N